I am from India. My family has always been among the most educated and progressive sections of society, with the highest exposure to different ideas and people. In the course of being exposed to said people, I developed close friendships with folks who were all from similar backgrounds. I even met my partner in these circles.
Then I entered the workforce. Again, I was part of the cream of society. I was in tech, where the culture was decades ahead of other industries. I had amazing colleagues who respected me. There were strong, smart women to learn from. My opinion…
Every sitcom has that episode where the girlfriend wonders if her boyfriend is going to propose. And in parallel, the boyfriend is asking his friends whether she’s going to say yes. And then there’s a season finale where he gets down on one knee and she tears up and he puts a ring on her finger.
Now, I’m a die-hard romantic. I always enjoy these scenes, and I do tear up at some of them. I like cute gestures.
But why do we romanticize such poorly planned decisions?
The world has progressed over the past several decades. Relationships and their…
I love on-screen romances. They’re always interesting to watch and make you feel more personally invested in each of the characters.
I’ve always thought that really good TV couples enhance the entire show itself and make its viewers more emotionally connected to the stories being told. Not all shows and movies do this well, though. Many times we end up with couples that irritate us or couples that don’t seem to belong together.
And then there are some couples that are simply too dramatic and unstable but have such good chemistry that we still ship them hard. …
My partner has always wanted kids. For a long time, I was against it. This led to years of discussions and debates between us. We’ve talked for countless hours about the reasons to have a kid and the merits of never having one.
During these discussions, the topic of adoption eventually came up. The more we discussed adoption, the more I noticed my mind opening up.
Everyone is aware of the noble reasons for adoption — help control the population, give a home to someone underprivileged, etc.
But let’s face it. Nobody ever takes these large personal decisions based on…
Growing up, I obsessively noticed couples around me to understand their relationship dynamics. It’s something I’ve always been interested in.
As a kid, I was always disappointed by the fact that every adult couple I knew seemed so unequal. The man went to work and earned money. The woman took care of the house and children. On the rare occasion that women worked, it was not a particularly high-paying job. She was never an equal breadwinner. This was a standard template and I developed a deep dislike for it.
Back then, my idea of equality was simple and naive. Both…
I love mental models and frameworks. They give me a fresh sense of perspective and a tool to understand the seemingly chaotic world around me. They also provide an opportunity for introspection and understanding ourselves better.
Mental models also guide your perception and behavior. They are the thinking tools that you use to understand life, make decisions, and solve problems. Learning a new mental model gives you a new way to see the world — like Richard Feynman learning a new math technique.
I’ve always been an anxious person. I’m very particular about where things around the house are kept, how clean the kitchen surfaces are, how punctual I am to appointments.
On the outside, these sound like good qualities to have, right? I appear to be an organized and disciplined person.
However, it has always come at a cost. While it’s a good thing to keep the kitchen surfaces clean, I feel an inordinate level of stress and tension about any untidy spot. It affects my emotional equilibrium so much that it triggers breakdowns and petty fights with my partner.
I have never been a big fan of festivals and holidays. I’m from India, and most of our festivals have rules and rituals to follow.
Everyone is expected to dress up, which is an activity I’ve always disliked. There are religious customs to be followed, which always make me uncomfortable. And these occasions always involve as many family members as possible, which can get very overwhelming for an introvert like me.
Growing up, these were the things I came to associate with celebrations, and I had firmly decided that I didn’t like them. …
Couples who live together generally move towards equilibrium when it comes to household chores. There’s an unwritten and unspoken agreement that forms between them about who does what.
Sometimes a lot of the burden falls on one partner. Sometimes the couple gets it right, and the equilibrium works for a while. But life always throws new responsibilities into the mix and upsets this balance.
This article is about being intentional and flexible with your equilibrium so that you can keep adapting to the changes in life.
I came across the concept of mental load when I read this viral post…
I first read the Lord of the Rings when I was in high school. I had been a fantasy nerd for a long time, and all my fellow nerds had devoured this series and repeatedly recommended it to me. Not to be left out, I borrowed the books from my cousin and started reading.
I found it tough to get through the first book. After the first hundred pages, I started making excuses whenever it was time to read. I was too busy, or I didn’t have the bandwidth to read, or I needed to use this time to study…